


Damaged

by Maggieshawolexotic



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Kissing, Lilia and Yakov are still married, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Victuuri, Mila is total mom, Mutual Pining, No Underage Sex, Otabek and Mila put him back together, Panic Attacks, Sex Trafficking, Violence, Yuri is damaged, childhood prostitution, everyones an assassin, foster children, mafia au sort of, mentions of abuse, mostly Otabek though, otayuri - Freeform, pimps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggieshawolexotic/pseuds/Maggieshawolexotic
Summary: The job was simple.  Infiltrate the abandoned building, get out as many girls as possible, and take out their leader.Mafia/ Assassin AU nobody asked for but everyone secretly wantsTrained killers that help the police catch bad guys and take out sex trafficking rings.Yuri's a child prostitute against his willOtabek saves himEventually they fall in love and kill bad guys together





	1. Chapter 1

Otabek

The job was simple. Infiltrate the abandoned building, get out as many girls as possible, and take out their leader.

Otabek scoured around the corner of the building, checking that it was clear for his team to move in. His gun at the ready, he signaled his team that the alley was empty. Mila moved first while Otabek covered her from behind. Mila waited on the other side of the door, gun ready, while Otabek pulled the heavy door open. 

“We’re in,” Mila spoke into her wristwatch to let the rest of their team know their positions. 

They waited for the rest of their team to reply before advancing into the hallway. Once inside, Otabek and Mila crouched behind the connecting hallway’s walls, put on their gasmasks, and tossed the knockout gas cans all the way down the hall.

When the doors flew open at the sound of the explosion, one by one they heard bodies drop to the floor. Guns up once again, they advanced further into the hallway, checking each of the rooms for their target. 

When they cleared their section of the building, they began pulling the unconscious bodies from the room, propping the girls against one wall, and the men paying for their services against another, and cuffing their hand behind their backs. 

“I think we’re done here,” Mila said taking off her mask after the air was clear.

Otabek followed her lead and attached his mask back onto his belt. “I’ll do one last sweep, you stay with them.”

She nodded and watched Otabek from the corner of her eye go from room to room. She double checked all the victims and the perpetrators for a pulse while they waited for the ambulance and the police to come pick them up. 

“Mila, there’s another room in here!” Otabek called from a room at the end of the hallway. Mila ran after him and joined him at the door on the floor. It was padlocked. 

“Happen to have a lock cutter on you Beks?” 

He shook his head. “We’ll have to wait for the fire department.” 

“I’ll stay here and look for another way in,” Mila offered, “you go back out in the hallway and wait for the police.” 

In no time, the police showed up to deliver oxygen to the rescued girls, and to arrest the men. Otabek was given a lock cutter from one of the firemen and asked Mila to step back. She watched from over his shoulder as Otabek put all his strength into cutting the lock. 

There was a clunk as the lock fell to the floor. Otabek pulled open the door to reveal a small room, barely big enough for a small child to sit up in. Mila shined her flashlight into the room to reveal another girl. 

“Shit,” Otabek cursed. He moved cautiously into the room, careful not to spook her. 

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ve come to take you out of here. The girl flinched away and he came closer, not that he could really move much in the cellar. It was a wonder how they got this girl down here in the first place. “Don’t be afraid. I’m Otabek, let me help you.”

He could almost hear the disapproval from Mila as he told the girl his real name. Something that was a big no-no in their profession.

As Otabek advanced, he had to get on his hands and knees to avoid hitting his head. He was pretty thankful at the moment that he wasn’t claustrophobic. Mila followed as far as she could, keeping the light shining in front of her partner. 

Otabek was finally within arm’s length of the girl, but he didn’t dare touch her. She was so skinny, obviously malnourished. Dressed in minimal clothing, he could see how far her bones stuck out and the goose bumps that littered her skin. His eyes travelled up her to face, her cheeks were sunken and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked at him, but didn’t say a word. 

“Do you need help?”

She nodded and shifted slightly so Otabek could pick her up. 

“Wait…you’re a boy.” 

“What?” Mila asked, “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” he muttered.

Otabek was able to get his arms around the boy and pull him out of the corner. Once out of the cellar, he hoisted him up, bridal style and exited the room with Mila following behind. 

The boys arms wrapped tightly around Otabek’s neck, almost begging him not to let him go. “What’s your name?” he asked. 

“Yuri,” the boy whispered. 

“How old are you?”

He rested his head on Otabek’s shoulder, eyes finally opening to look at him. “Thirteen...I think”

Otabek was disgusted at that point. He knew a lot of these girls got caught in the sex trafficking ring at a young age, but Yuri looked like he had been here for years, and he was only thirteen!? But honestly, who was he to talk? He was sixteen and had been a trained assassin since he was ten and Yakov took him in after his parents were killed in a terrorist attack.

He carried Yuri out of the building and towards the paramedics so they could take him to the hospital. 

“Thanks,” said one of the paramedics Otabek had worked with many times before as he unloaded a gurney to put Yuri on so he could be comfortable, and the pulled out his equipment. “The work you guys do is really amazing, Otabek…whoops, sorry, didn’t mean to say your real name.”

“No, it’s fine. I blew my cover with this one a while ago. This is Yuri, thirteen year old male.”

The paramedic nodded sadly and gestured for Otabek to put the boy on the gurney. 

“No!” Yuri screamed when Otabek shifted ever so slightly. “No, no, no, no!” He fought to stay in Otabek’s arms, clinging tighter and tighter the more Otabek tried to put him down. 

“Yuri, it’s okay. He’s going to help you.”

“No! Don’t put me down, please!”

Otabek looked to her paramedic friend for help.

“Looks like he doesn’t want you to leave him, Beks,” said Mila coming up behind him. “Why don’t you go with him to the hospital? I’ll join you when we finish up here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think boss man will appreciate me ditching you guys.”

“Ah, Yakov isn’t here. And besides he’s always told us to decide for ourselves when our job is done. Your job obviously isn’t finished yet.” 

Mila had a point. “What do you say Yuri? Do you want me to come with you?”

The frail boy nodded into his chest. 

“You heard the man,” Mila smiled. “I’ll text you when I get to the hospital.” 

Inside the ambulance, Otabek took his seat, with Yuri still in his lap. The paramedic loaded his equipment back up. 

“Your names Yuri? I’m Celestino, will you let me help you?” 

Yuri glanced up at Otabek for assurance that Celestino wasn’t going to hurt him. Otabek smiled and nodded. Then Yuri looked to the paramedic and nodded too. 

Celestino took Yuri’s blood pressure, checked his heartrate, and examined what he could for any lacerations, broken bones, and signs of internal bleeding. It was obvious Yuri had been beaten pretty badly before being thrown down into the cellar. And who knows how long he had actually been down there? There were remnants of blood on his lips, and days old bruises covering his entire body. From what Celestino could tell, Yuri didn’t have any serious injuries, but Yuri would need a head CT, CAT scan, and a full body x-ray to know for sure. 

“Alright, everything looks okay, Yuri. We’re going to drive you to the hospital now. Your blood pressure is extremely low, as well as your blood sugar. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve eaten?”

Yuri shrugged, “a while.” 

“Do you know how long you were in that room?” Otabek asked. 

Yuri thought for a moment, then responded, “Five.”

“Five days? Five hours?” Celestino asked. 

“Five people.”

For a moment Otabek and Celestino were confused by his answer, then they realized that he meant five clients entered into the room to get what they paid for in the time that Yuri was locked under the floor. 

At the hospital, Yuri gave his doctors quite a hard time, as did a lot of the other girls brought in. Yuri wouldn’t let any of them touch him, and as soon as they were able to get an IV in his arm, he’d rip it out. He wouldn’t lay still during his x-rays, CAT scan, or head CT. He screamed and cried and fought off the doctors for hours, even after Otabek had assured him that everything was fine. 

Eventually they had to sedate him. Which in Otabek’s unprofessional medical opinion they should have done that as soon as he started screaming. 

Mila and some other members of their team arrived at the hospital with the cops and social services. Otabek, being the known leader of their little team found the sheriff and filled her in on any information he had that his team didn’t. 

“Have you figured out how many of these girls are underage?” Sheriff Minako Okukawa asked. 

“That would be a question for the doctor, but I know of six for sure. I wasn’t told any last names, but Mika in room 503 is sixteen, Yukino in room 504 is seventeen, Nicole in room 506 is fourteen, Natalia in room 509 is fifteen, Alana in room 512 is fourteen, and Yuri in room 501 is thirteen.”

“Social services have been actively looking for the family members of these girls, but we’re having trouble locating a lot of them. The running theory is that these kids are just the right age to have parents that were killed, or a part of the terrorist attacks eight years ago. Their pimp is known for finding orphans and taking them in. However, we have found evidence in their pimp’s penthouse of most of these girls being sold to him.”

“There is one boy among them, just so you’re aware, Sheriff. He seems to be the youngest, and he shows the most evidence of abuse. They had to sedate him.”

“Thank you Otabek. We really appreciate all you and your team do to help us out. But I still think you all should be placed with a loving family.”

“Yakov takes good care of us, promise.”

“I know, honey. Thank you again. All of you.”

Otabek’s team waved goodbye to the sheriff, then looked to Otabek for what to do next. 

“Are we done here?” Mila asked. 

Georgi answered her question, “I’d say so.”

Normally Otabek would say yes. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave Yuri just yet. He needed to know that Yuri was going to be okay in someone else’s hands. 

“You all have the list of girls from the rooms you cleared. I want you all to make one last sweep through the hospital…only to the rooms of the girls you helped, we don’t want to scare them by sending in another stranger…just make sure they’re okay. Assure them that they’ll be taken care of and that nobody’s coming for them. Viktor and Chris took out their pimp and his lackey’s, but don’t you dare say that he’s dead. It may trigger some of them. But ask if they need anything.”

“Aye aye captain!” Mila joked. 

Otabek returned to Yuri’s hospital room where he was still asleep. The abuse this kid must have endured…and for how long? Where were his parents? Were they killed like his own parents in the bombing of the square? Or was it his own family that sold him? The color was beginning to come back to Yuri’s face, which was a good thing in terms of health, but it only made the bruises on his face more visible and the cuts on his lips redder. 

“It’s nice of you to stay with him,” said the nurse coming in to check his vitals. 

Otabek didn’t say anything, only smiled. 

“He’s a fighter. It looks bad now, but I’m sure he’ll be better in twenty-four hours. The young ones always bounce back quickly.”

“Don’t I know it?”

The nurse smiled, “you’re pretty young yourself, aren’t you? Wouldn’t have expected someone as young as you and your friends to be helping the police with taking down sex trafficking rings. What are you, seventeen?”

“Sixteen.”

“You’ve had to grow up fast, I’m sure. I can tell by your eyes. You have the eyes of a soldier.”

Otabek stayed with Yuri until he woke up, then came back to visit him every day until he was ready to be released. 

“What are you doing with him?” Otabek asked the woman assigned to Yuri’s case. 

“We’re still searching for any relatives, and the plan for right now is to take him to a group home where he’ll be safe and will get the proper care and counseling. The hope is that we’ll eventually be able to place him in a foster home.”

“No!” Otabek raised his voice, then calmed himself once he saw the face of the child protective service lady. “I’m sorry…I’ve been in the system. It’s broken. Yuri needs something with structure right away. He needs to be with someone he trusts.”

“We’re trying our best to find any member of the Plisetsky family, but it seems like they’ve all fallen off the face of the earth. There are no records whatsoever. No parking ticket, no credit card activity…just an incomplete birth certificate.” 

“Was he abandoned as a baby?”

“No we don’t believe so. Unfortunately we think all records were destroyed when he was sold to the ring. It’s a horrible circumstance, but it’s all we have to go on.”

Otabek sighed. “Give me two minutes. I have to make a phone call.”

Within twenty minutes, Yakov and his wife Lilia were at the hospital, foster care papers in hand.

“You better be right about this kid,” Yakov grumbled to Otabek as he and his wife signed all the necessary papers to bring Yuri home with them. 

“He needs us. I don’t know how I know, I just do. He’s the perfect example of someone who’s going to run away from his foster home and get right back into the life of selling himself off to anyone that’ll pay. And he’s so young. He can’t even formulate in his mind that what he’s been forced to do all these years is wrong. He just knows he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t know why.” 

“Otabek. I don’t need an explanation. I know. You were the same way when you came to me.”

Otabek scoffed. “Was not.” 

“Go get him.”

Otabek knocked on Yuri’s hospital room door and waited for a “come in.” He entered the room slowly, not to spook him. Yuri was changed out of his hospital gown, and now dressed in sweats and a hoodie that the hospital supplied him with. He was still so tiny and frail looking. The bruises were beginning to fade, but they were still there. 

“So…” Otabek started, “you’re going to come home with me.”

Yuri froze. “I-I know we c-can’t do it here, but I know a better place…I’m not supposed to go home with people unless he tells me that it’s okay.”

“Yuri, you don’t need his permission anymore. You’re safe. We’re going to take care of you; Yakov, Lilia, and I. And the rest of us.”

Yuri shivered and his eyes drifted to the floor. “I-I’d be happy to s-serve you and your family…”

“What? Yuri no, you’re done with that life. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with ever again. You’re family now.”

Yuri looked up at Otabek and his eyes immediately lit up. “Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

Without warning, Yuri jumped into Otabek’s arms. “Thank you, Otabek! Thank you so much!”


	2. Chapter 2

Mila

Bringing Yuri back to live with them deemed very difficult. Yuri didn’t sleep for the first week he was there, he wouldn’t eat unless someone made him, and he wouldn’t leave Otabek’s side. If Otabek had to go to the bathroom, Yuri waited for him outside the door. If Otabek had to run errands, Yuri went with and wouldn’t let go of his arm. If Otabek had classroom time with his tutors, Yuri went with and sat quietly beside him while Otabek finished his homework. 

There was one week that Otabek had to go out of town on a job with Georgi, Viktor, and Chris; Yuri just about had a mental breakdown. He wouldn’t let Otabek leave the house. Exactly like a toddler being left home with a babysitter for the first time. He kicked and screamed and begged for Otabek to stay, but he couldn’t. Eventually they were able to get Otabek out the door, and for hours Yuri waited at the door, crying for the only person in the entire world that he trusted.

Mila’s heart broke for the young boy. She had been through this before. They’ve met hundreds of children just like Yuri. She knew what to do. She started six feet away from him. She sat in front of him on the floor, a ball in her hand. She bounced it to herself, didn’t say a word until Yuri acknowledged her presence. He wiped his eyes and sniffled, “what are you doing?”

“Just chillin’. Wanna play?” she asked holding up the ball for him to play.

“When is Beka coming back?” he sniffed again. 

“Not for a few days. I’m here with you though.” She rolled the ball to him. It hit Yuri’s shoe, then rolled away from him. 

Mila retrieved the ball and returned to her place on the floor, this time five feet from Yuri. She rolled the ball to him again, this time he caught it. “So how are you?” she asked. 

He stared at her. Couldn’t she tell he was upset? Maybe she wanted him to lie and say he was fine? He didn’t reply.

“I’m great, Yuri! Thank you for asking!” her tone wasn’t mocking, it was sweet, but funny. 

Yuri crack a grin, then Mila bounced the ball to him instead of rolling it. He caught it and bounced it back effortlessly. 

“Do you miss your friends? I bet you’re worried about them.”

Yuri sniffed again and took a tissue from Mila that she had in her pocket. Then she situated herself four feet from him.

“I didn’t really know them. They kept me away from everyone else. I had my own room, a different schedule than everyone else. They told me I was special.”

“You are special.”

“Was I really the only boy you found?”

Mila nodded. “You were. Do you remember why they put you in the floor?"

Yuri paused to let a tear fall from his eye, then nodded. “A guest left without paying, so they punished me and locked me under the floorboards.”

“You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”

“It was my fault. I didn’t satisfy the guest like I’m supposed to.”

Mila reached out her hand to Yuri, and he took it with caution. Now she was two feet away. “Yuri, everything that they did to you, or that they made you do…nothing that happened to you there was your fault. They hurt you and they manipulated you. But none of it was because you did something wrong. It was because they are sick, twisted bastards that belong behind bars for the rest of their lives.” Remembering what Otabek told her the night they rescued Yuri, she didn’t dare tell Yuri that his pimps were dead. Yuri was fragile enough. When he was stronger and they were sure the news of his captor’s death wouldn’t trigger him, they would tell him. 

“Thank you, Mila.” 

Their knees were touching now. “You’re welcome, honey! Let’s go do something, okay?”

Yuri looked behind him at the door Otabek could walk through any moment. “B-but.”

Mila stood up and pulled Yuri up with her. “Otabek isn’t going to back until next week. On the day he comes back you can wait for him at the door if you want, and anytime he calls I’ll make sure you’re the first one he talks to, sound good?”

Yuri rubbed away whatever tears he had left in his eyes and said, “Okay.”

In five days’ time, Otabek returned home and Yuri was waiting at the door to greet him, just like Mila said he could. Otabek laughed when the young man caught him off guard in a bear hug. “Good to see you too Yuri.”

“Don’t leave me that long ever again,” he mumbled into his friend’s chest. 

He looked to Mila who had been waiting at the door with Yuri. “Tough week?”

“Not so much. We had fun, didn’t we Yuri?” she asked putting a hand on his shoulder. “Show him what you got at the mall.”

Yuri pulled away from Otabek and brushed his long hair back, revealing a fresh cartilage piercing. “Do you like it?”

“Looks good.” 

Yuri’s smile at that moment could brighten up a room, then Yuri ran off to the kitchen by himself.

“What did you do?” Otabek asked Mila.

She grinned matter-of-factly and shrugged. “We just talked Beks. And then we went to the mall. Now he doesn’t need to follow you around all day every day.

“Well then. Maybe you should be leading our operations instead of me.”

“Oh no honey. You know you’re much better with a gun than I am.” 

He couldn’t argue there. 

“How was everything else? Is he sleeping better now? Eating?”

“Beks. I promise you he’s fine. Sure there’s still a lot of stuff he needs to work out, but he’s making progress. Faster than I thought he would be.”

“And without group home therapists.”

“You’re not wrong. But do you think we’re enough for him? He’s been through a lot,” Mila voiced her concern. 

“We have to be enough.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very tired and didn't re-read this so I'm very sorry for any typos you may come across

Otabek 

It’s been three years since Otabek and his team of assassins took out the biggest sex trafficking ring in Russia and brought in Yuri to live with them. Since then, Yuri has healed to the extent of being a regular angsty teenage boy, but he still had nightmares and the occasional panic attack when something triggered him.

For the last year and a half, Yuri has been begging everyone to teach him the trade. He wants to know how to shoot, to kill, and to be an assassin like everyone else he associates on a daily basis with. Yakov didn’t have a problem with it, neither did Lilia. Viktor encouraged it, but didn’t dare take it upon himself to teach Yuri. Otabek and Mila protested the idea. 

“Please Beka!” Yuri would beg him, “I’m ready. I’m not some broken kid being sold for sex anymore. I can do it!”

To which he would respond, “I don’t care if you think you’re ready. You’re not. You’ll never be ready to take a life. And you’re too reckless.”

And then Mila would chime in, “Yeah, Beks is right. Ever since you pierced your eyebrow yourself you’ve been out of control.” It was mostly a joke, but the point was still made. 

Excluding the issue of Otabek refusing to let Yuri train to be an assassin, there had been something going on between them within the last year or so. Yuri didn’t look like a child anymore, Otabek was seeing him as more than a friend. But he’d never act on his feelings. Not now anyways. No matter how much Yuri believed he was better, Otabek was the one awakened by Yuri’s cries in the middle of the night, and he was the one to take care of him when Yuri has a panic attack in the middle of the street after someone accidently bumps into him at the crosswalk. And Yuri’s habit of climbing in bed with Otabek in the middle of the night after a bad dream was no help to the situation going on in Otabek’s heart. And then there was the whole Mila and Otabek moving out of Yakov and Lilia’s house ordeal that caused Yuri to throw a tantrum. 

It wasn’t the issue that Mila and Otabek were getting their own apartment together…that didn’t bother Yuri because Mila usually liked girls, and they were assassination partners; like brother and sister. Yuri just refused to be left behind. The day Mila and Otabek were leaving to look at lofts, Yuri had packed a bag, grabbed his pillow and said, “I’m coming with you.”

Which of course caused a fight. 

Eventually Mila and Otabek assured him that everything would be fine, he’ll still see them every day, and that he can come stay overnight whenever he wanted. He wasn’t happy about it, especially when Lilia dropped the bomb that legally Yuri wouldn’t be able to move out until he had aged out of the system, because he was still legally her and her husband’s foster child. Which may or may not have caused a bit of a panic attack that Otabek had to contain. 

Another reason for Otabek and Mila to protest against Yuri becoming like them. How could he point a gun at someone if he has panic attacks about Otabek moving out? Otabek was convinced he was going to die on the job one day. He had come to terms with it. The thought probably hadn’t even crossed Yuri’s mind. A conversation they should have had the moment Otabek realized Yuri relied so heavily on him. Lilia always taught them to value the relationships they had with people, because not having relationships is what makes you weak.

Aside from Yakov, Lilia and their previous foster children, Yuri’s relationships with people were weak. He didn’t have his own friends, and he definitely didn’t have his own family after his grandfather died and his parents sold him into sex trafficking when he was nine. Otabek was sure being passed around from pimp to pimp for four years of his life didn’t help either. 

It took Yuri a long time to open up to Otabek and Mila about his life as a child prostitute. From what Yuri told them, his first pimp in Moscow was good to him. But eventually he had no more use for Yuri and sold him to someone who wasn’t so nice. Someone who beat Yuri and the rest of his girls and boys. Then Yuri wasn’t making as much money as the others because he was so young, and he was sold to the most powerful pimp in Russia where Yuri spent two years waiting for clients in a dark room, getting beat when he didn’t make enough money, getting locked under the floor when he didn’t do as he was told, and parading the streets in the bad parts of town in skimpy clothing and drugs pumped through his veins.

Of course Yuri didn’t trust anyone. 

“Yuri, I promise you, you’ll be okay here without me,” Otabek said. 

“I want to come with you and Mila!”

“You can’t, you’re too young.”

“I’m sixteen, not eight!”

“Still not an adult.”

“If I can legally consent to sex I’m an adult,” he mumbled mostly to himself. 

“No. Being able to consent doesn’t make you an adult.” 

“You’re only three years older than me! How are you anymore of an adult than me!? Because you’ve killed people!? Well, I spent four years of my life being sold to old men and getting paid for it! I’ve done more shit than most adults do in their entire lifetime. I’ve probably got more experience than you Otabek!” 

Otabek stared at him while he argued how he was an adult. “Are you done?”

“Fuck you.”

“Yuri Plisetsky! We do not use such foul language,” Lilia scolded from the other room. 

Otabek continued to just watch Yuri while he cooled down and collected his thoughts. Until he noticed a shiver run up Yuri’s spine. Yuri was always cold; always wearing sweat pants and a hoodie, even in the summer. Yuri’s doctor informed them that because he was so malnourished when they rescued him, and hooked on drugs, it would take a long time for his body to repair itself, even after all these years. However, Otabek was more convinced that Yuri continued to wear sweats year round because he was hiding his abuse scars, not keeping warm. 

“Are you cold?”

“No. I’m mad.”

Otabek noticed that Yuri wasn’t dressed in his usual hoodie and sweatpants, but in a t-shirt and cheap ripped jeans. He approached him carefully, taking notice of the goosebumps on his arms and blue color of his lips. “Yuri...if you’re cold go change.”

“No, I’m fine.” He stormed up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door, no doubt to run a warm bath for himself to warm up. 

Even three years later, Yuri was still very skinny. His hip bones and collar bones still stuck out, and his cheek were still very sunken. No matter how much the kid eats, he just doesn’t gain weight easily. According to his doctor, drugs could be a factor in why he didn’t gain all his weight back, or it could be something as simple as Yuri being a teenage boy with a high metabolism that likes to work out every day. But something told Otabek that PTSD and depression played a much bigger role than Yuri shows. 

Otabek sighed and trekked up the stairs after Yuri. He knocked on the bathroom door and listened to the bath running. He smirked. Yuri was too predictable. Another reason he shouldn’t be an assassin. 

“Go away.”

“No.”

It was quiet for a few seconds, then Otabek heard the door click as Yuri opened the room for him and allowed him inside. Yuri went right back to sitting on the lid of the toilet and pulling his knees up to his chest. He rested his cheek on his knee and let a single tear fall. 

Otabek crouched down to Yuri’s level and took his hand. “I’m not going that far away.”

“Why do you have to go at all?”

“Because Mila and I don’t want to live in our foster parents house anymore. It’s time for us to be on our own. Mila wants space to have Sara over without Lilia watching their every move.”

Yuri looked up to frown at him. “What’s your excuse?” 

Otabek didn’t want to admit that the reason he was so absolute about moving was because he was beginning to not trust himself around the beautiful blond boy that climbed into his bed every night and followed him around all day every day. 

“I don’t have one. I just don’t want to live here forever.”

“Bullshit.”

Otabek was caught off guard by the tone of Yuri’s curse. Or was it the feeling of lips crashing into his milliseconds after Yuri swore? Otabek pulled away fast as soon as he realized that Yuri was kissing him. But then he got a good look at him, and my god, Yuri was so beautiful. So fragile, but so strong. And with Yuri’s piercing green eyes staring holes into Otabek’s soul, he couldn’t resist anymore. He kissed him. And in those four seconds he was kissing him, he felt all of Yuri’s anxieties disappear. 

“This is why I have to move.”

Yuri still didn’t want Otabek to leave with Mila, but he didn’t trust himself around Otabek just as much as Otabek didn’t trust himself around Yuri. 

“Yeah. You have to move.”


	4. Chapter 4

Yuri

 

The bang echoed through the long corridor of the shooting range. Bang after bang until the sheet hanging from the ceiling was filled with bullet holes, or the gun ran empty. Yuri huffed as he slid the headphones off his head and around his neck. Viktor clapped from his place behind Yuri.

“You’re getting better Yurio,” Viktor praised. 

“Stop calling me that. You should be calling that pig you call a lover ‘Yurio’ since I was here first.” 

Viktor ignored Yuri’s insult and returned to teaching him how to shoot. “The only suggestion I have is to take your time. You’re too impatient, just breathe. Right now we’re just practicing, there’s no need to hit your target every time. Mess up a few times. Learn from your mistakes. This is the time to do it…not when it’s the real deal.”

“You’re just mad that I’m better than you at shooting.”

“No. And you’re not better than me. You’re not even better than Mila, whose specialty is close combat.”

“Fuck off.”

Viktor ignored Yuri’s insult once again by asking, “Have you told Otabek what we’ve been doing yet?”

“No.”

“Yuri you shouldn’t be lying to him. You know he doesn’t approve of you becoming an assassin.”

Yuri scoffed, “Beka can stick it up his ass. He’s my boyfriend, not my dad. He doesn’t have to approve of what I do or don’t do.”

“Oh, so you’ve made it official now, have you?”

“Well no…I don’t know…We kiss sometimes, that’s it.”

Viktor ran a hand through his hair, “now that is complicated isn’t it?” 

Yuri put the headphones back over his ears and reloaded his gun. He squared up with his target, this time a moving target, and took aim at the head of the human outline on the sheet of paper. He shot again and again, only grazing the outline, then the shoulder. He took a deep breath and repositioned himself. He took the shot again, hitting the target in the heart.

When Yuri removed the headphones after realizing that he was out of bullets again, he moved out of the cubical and took a seat on the bench beside Viktor. “Have you considered telling him how you feel?”

“He knows how I feel.” 

“Are you absolutely sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“How are you sure?”

“Oh my god, Viktor! If you ask me that again I’m telling Beka you forced me to learn how to shoot.”

“You won’t, but nice threat. On a serious note Yurio, maybe Otabek really doesn’t know how you feel. Have you flat out told him that you love him?”

“Nobody said anything about love, old man. And no, I haven’t flat out told him, but he knows. He’s afraid he’s gonna break me or some stupid shit like that. Anytime we’re kissing, he always stops when things get ‘too hot,’” he said in air quotes, “And then he takes me home.”

“Well you are only seventeen. Otabek is twenty, he may still see you as just a kid.”

“Why do I always have to keep arguing this with you people? If I can legally consent to sex, I’m an adult!”

“Oh no you’re not Yurio. Sex does not equal adult, or you would have been an adult a long time ago.”

Yuri glared at Viktor. 

“Sorry. Sensitive subject, I know.”

“No, it’s not anymore. I can talk about it without bursting into flames, Viktor.”

“I know, I know,” Viktor waved him off. “My point is that when Otabek pulled you out of the floor, you were a malnourished, drug addicted child that had just been beaten almost to death and raped by old men paying for it. You’ve recovered from all that for the most part, but anytime Otabek sees the slightest bit of vulnerability in your eyes, he’s taken back to that time when he carried you in his arms all the way to the hospital, and he sees that little boy that cried anytime he left the house and the boy that had panic attacks anytime someone in the street accidentally bumped into him.” 

Yuri didn’t say anything. He knew Viktor was right, but even now, it’s still hard for him to remember that stuff. Especially all the times he couldn’t function without Otabek around. 

“Otabek’s afraid that if he oversteps in the slightest, he’s going to trigger you. Just have a conversation with him.”

“Easy for you to say…”

 

Viktor

 

After leaving the shooting range, Viktor dropped Yuri off at the house he shared with Yakov and Lilia, his foster parents. The same house Viktor had once grown up in years before along with Otabek, Mila, Chris, Georgi, and many others. The house had many memories, some sad, but most of them happy ones. Like the time he was sixteen and Otabek had come to live with them. Such a lively child, even after witnessing his parents and hundreds of others killed in the bombing of the square. Otabek had opened up right away, always refusing to show any signs of weakness around them. Or the time when he himself was brought to live with Lilia and Yakov. His parents had been alive at the time, but they couldn’t take care of him and their addiction to drugs at the same time. Seven year old Viktor didn’t understand why he was so happy to live with a new family, but he did know he wasn’t going to have to worry about being fed anymore. He remembered when he was twelve and five year old Mila came to live with them. She was so sad and so scared of her new family, but she warmed up quickly after she realized that she was living with nice people. Her parent’s deaths hit her pretty hard though. She was young, but she understood that her mom and dad had perished in an accident when the main bridge to the city collapsed, taking her parents and many others lives. She would have gone to live with her grandparents, but they were much too old to be keeping up with a spitfire five year old.

Yuri pushed open the passenger side door and grabbed his bag from the backseat of Viktor’s car. “Aren’t you staying for dinner?”

“No, not tonight. Got a hot date.”

“Puke.” Yuri paused as if to say something else. But he wasn’t sure this was the right time and place. 

“I’ll be over for dinner soon, okay? Promise.” Viktor knew Yuri was beginning to feel like the rest of his foster family were beginning to forget about him. That’s exactly how Otabek and Mila felt after he, Chris, and Georgi moved out. Almost like they were stuck in one place while the rest of them had moved on from familial traditions and made their own with someone else. 

“Don’t come unless you leave that pig home.”

“Don’t be bitter.”

“It’s not family night if he comes.” 

“Yurio you’re being petty. What happens if Lilia and Yakov decide to foster another child, are you going to exclude them from family dinners too just because it isn’t the same?”

“No. I just want it to be a family thing.”

“Yuuri is family now.” 

“Fine. Whatever.” Yuri slammed the door behind him and headed for the large door that let him into his foster parent’s house. Viktor watched Yuri climb the stairs, but not go inside. Viktor pulled out of the long driveway, and saw Yuri take a seat on the landing and pull out his phone. He drove away, but he knew he, Mila, or Otabek would be needing to have a conversation with him soon. 

He was acting like a spoiled child. Now, he was almost certain it was because everyone around him was growing up, making a life for themselves, moving out…he probably felt like he was being left behind. And he was obviously frustrated with the entire Otabek situation. It was so obvious it hurt. He almost wished Otabek would just grow a pair and do something about it, but he understands his longtime friend’s hesitation. He’d feel the same way if it he who had saved Yuri and fallen in love with him. But this was not the case. 

He would talk to Otabek soon, for now he needed to finish his investigation on the next drug trafficking ring they needed to take out.


	5. Chapter 5

Yuri 

Yuri waited on the front steps for Otabek to pick him up. He wanted to talk to him about what the fuck they were, because he was getting frustrated. He wanted Otabek so bad he couldn’t stand it. And he needed to get it out of Otabek’s head that he was no longer that sickly broken child he pulled out of the floor four years ago. He was an adult, for the most part. He was ready for a real relationship, one that didn’t involve being fucked and then paid. One that didn’t usually end with getting beat or raped by his pimps. 

Yuri shivered at the memory. Otabek would never let any of that happen again. Even if he decided later in life that he wanted to go back to that lifestyle; having sex for money, Yuri knew Otabek would die before he let that happen. 

Otabek pulled into the driveway and Yuri jumped up from his place on the steps and ran to the car. He opened the driver’s side door and grabbed Otabek’s arm excitedly. “Come inside, Yakov and Lilia aren’t home.”

“Fine, fine.” Otabek took his keys out of the ignition and let Yuri drag him in the house. He kicked the door closed behind him, and Yuri jumped into his arms. Otabek laughed, “What are you so happy about?” 

“I’m just glad to see you,” Yuri grinned up at him. 

Otabek returned the grin and placed a light kiss on Yuri’s cheek bone.

They went up to Yuri’s room and as soon as Yuri got the door closed, he fell onto his bed, pulling Otabek on top of him. 

Otabek caught himself on his elbow, but Yuri forced him forward and kissed him. Otabek kissed back, and caressed Yuri’s cheek, then slipped his hand under Yuri’s neck, deepening the kiss. When they pulled apart, Yuri scooted backwards toward his mountain of pillows and cat plushies, beckoning Otabek to follow. He crawled over Yuri’s small body and kissed him again.

Yuri slipped his hands underneath Otabek’s shirt and ran his hands over his muscular form, feeling the slight raise of skin around Otabek’s newest tattoo. He wanted more. He sneakily began to wrap his leg around Otabek’s, caressing, and pulling him closer. Yuri managed to wrap both legs around Otabek’s waist (something he’s never been able to do before Otabek stopped him) and pulled his hips into his own. He moaned at the contact, breaking the kiss, but giving Otabek a chance to pull away. 

“We should stop.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. So close. 

Otabek climbed off of Yuri and laid next to him, putting an arm behind Yuri’s neck, and wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Yuri rolled onto his side and slipped his own hand under Otabek’s shirt once again, tracing the lines of his muscles, and the raised skin of his tattoos. He was about to ask Otabek what the status of their relationship was when Otabek spoke first. 

“We found your second pimp.”

Yuri froze. He stared at Otabek for a moment, not knowing what to say.

“The one that kept you for himself.” 

“I know which one you mean. How did you find him?”

“Well we knew the name he had you call him, which we figured wasn’t his real name, or the name he goes by in the business, which was correct, but Mila got a girl off the street a few weeks ago that knew him and where his base of operations is.”

“Are you going after him then?”

“Not for a while. We still need more information.” 

“Where is he?”

“I’m not telling you that.”

Yuri frowned. “It’s not like I’m gonna go after him myself. You won’t teach me how, remember?”

“I’m not telling you because we’re not risking you going back to him or the lifestyle.”

Yuri sat up fast. “Okay, what the fuck Beka! Why would you think I’d go back there? I told you what he did to me, I can’t go back to that. I just can’t.” Yuri was fighting off the tears that were threatening to fall. He wasn’t sad, he was angry that Otabek suggested he’d go back to being pimped out, or kept as a sex slave in the case of the second man Yuri was sold to.

Otabek sat up, following Yuri’s movements and taking his hand gently. “Statistically people generally go back to that life after being taken out because they don’t know how to live any other way, you know that.”

“I’m not a statistic, Beka.” He wiped a stray tear.

“I know, I know. But we have to be careful with you, you understand, right?”

“No!” he pulled his hand out of Otabek’s. “Is this why you won’t have sex with me? You’re afraid you’re going to trigger me and send me running for the first person to make money off me?”

“What? No, of course not! And what do you mean I won’t have sex with you? That’s never even been an option!”

“Are you kidding?” Yuri stared, “I’ve been trying to get you to have sex with me for six months and anytime we’re even close you pull away!” 

Otabek didn’t know what to say. He shook his head to clear his mind, “What are you talking about?”

“What am I to you Beka?”

“You’re…” he didn’t know how to answer the question. 

“Am I just someone for you to make out with every once in a while?”

“No.”

“Then fucking sleep with me!!”

“No, I’m not going to do that!”

“Why the fuck not Otabek!? I’m in love with you, and I know you love me too. So what the fuck are we!?”

Yuri was crying again. Cheeks burning with anger. 

There was a knock at the door, “is everything okay in there?” Lilia asked. 

“We’re fine mom,” Otabek replied. 

Yuri waited to say something until he couldn’t hear Lilia’s footsteps any longer. “We’re not fine.”

Otabek stepped closer to him. “Yura…I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve been an idiot. I love you, I promise I do. But it’s not the right time for us to…” 

“Go on. It’s not the right time for what? For you to be with me or for you to have sex with me?”

“Sex mostly. But you’re not ready for a real relationship. Especially not with what you’ve been through in your life.”

Yuri was so frustrated with nobody in his family believing he was ready for anything and with everybody thinking he was still the broken child they took in four years ago that he stormed out of the room, went into Otabek’s old room and slammed the door.

Otabek followed and turned the doorknob, but it was locked. He sighed loudly and banged on the door. 

“Go away,” Yuri yelled from the other side.

“Not happening Yura.”

Yuri knew that Otabek wasn’t leaving anytime soon. He cracked open the door, glared at him, and said, “You don’t have the right to decide what I am or am not ready for.” 

“I know. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry, Yuri.”

Yuri opened the door the rest of the way for him to come into the room. Yuri took a seat on the end of Otabek’s old bed and wiped his remaining tears from his cheeks. Otabek sat down next to him and continued, “Since you’re an adult, can we have an actual conversation about this without either of us getting mad and storming out?”

Yuri nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay, go ahead. Say everything you want to say.”

Yuri took a deep breath and replied, “You and everyone else keep calling me a child and telling me I’m not ready for things when I know I am. You’re not me, so how would you know what I am or am not ready for? I’m frustrated because I keep saying I’m ready to be in a real relationship and have real sex that doesn’t end in being handed money or being beaten. And you and I have been doing whatever it is we’ve been doing for almost a year but I have no idea what we are because you won’t talk about it or ask me how I’m feeling. You just kiss me and pull away whenever things start to get serious and I’m sick of it. I’m not saying we have to have sex right this second, because I don’t know how I’m going to react…I might think I’m okay but then have a panic attack or something, I don’t know, but I know you’re going to be careful with me and be patient. I’m not scared of being with you, not in the slightest. But can you please stop looking at me and treating me like I’m going to fall apart if you touch me?”

Otabek smiled and took Yuri’s hand, “I can do that.”

“And please stop telling me what I can and can’t do with my own body. I’ve been through it all before I could even legally consent to it. I’m seventeen, I can consent to having sex if I want to, and I want to. And you might be surprised, but not everything I had to do back then was bad. Sometimes it felt good, sometimes I didn’t mind doing it, and I want to do it again. With someone I love.”

Otabek took hold of Yuri’s cheek and guided him to meet his lips. The kiss was gentle and loving, but short.

“My turn,” Otabek said when he pulled away. “I want to be with you Yuri, I’ve wanted to since you started climbing in my bed at night after a nightmare. But you were so young back then and I knew for a fact you were nowhere near ready for a relationship, especially since you hadn’t been living here very long then, and with our age difference. I’ve had real relationships before, and all you knew then was what it was like to…” he paused to think of the right words.

Yuri finished for him, “to be sold for my body.”

Otabek nodded solemnly. “Exactly. And then when Mila and I were moving out and you were so upset and we got in that fight, and then we kissed. I knew that if we continued to live under the same roof, it would end badly. I wouldn’t be able to stay as patient as I have been, and you would feed off of that and you would force yourself to jump into something you weren’t emotionally ready for, just because you knew I was ready.”

Yuri agreed with everything Otabek was saying. When Otabek and Mila moved out, at the time they both knew it was the best thing for them. With Otabek still living there, it was preventing Yuri from growing up, and it wouldn’t have been fair to Otabek to force him to continue taking care of Yuri, when he himself needed space to grow. 

“Are we okay now?” Otabek asked. 

Yuri nodded, “We are, but I need you to define what our relationship is. Are we just going to stay friends with benefits, or are we going to actually be together…or are we gonna stop everything and just be family like we are with everyone else?” 

Yuri was a little nervous to hear Otabek’s answer, even after they had both established that they were into each other.

“We’re together,” Otabek confirmed and Yuri breathed a sigh of relief. “But we need to establish boundaries, okay?”

“That sounds reasonable. What were you thinking?”

“We’re not having sex, okay? Not today, not tomorrow, not next month. I know you want to, and trust me, I do too. But we need to wait until you’re eighteen, even if you can consent now, I just think it’s best if we don’t jump into it. When it happens, it happens and it will happen when it’s the right time.” 

“Okay. What else?”

“You have to be honest with mom and dad. They have a right to know we’re together, and they have a right to tell you if you can or can’t spend the night at the apartment anymore. You have to respect their curfew, and above all else, you need to be honest with me. If I’m hurting you, or if you don’t want to do something, tell me. And of course that goes for me too.”

“Can I add something?” Yuri asked. 

“Of course. What is it?”

“You know everything about me…who I’ve been with aside from when I was working, what people did to me, what I was forced to do....Everything. But I want to know about people you’ve been with too. And I want to know more about why you came to live with Lilia and Yakov. All you’ve ever told me was that your parents were killed. I don’t know any details, but you know all about how after my grandpa died and I had to go back to living with my parents, that that’s when they sold me into sex trafficking. You know my medical records from when I was in the hospital, and you’ve actively been involved in the police’s investigation about my family. I need to know just as much about you.”

“I agree. I’ll tell you everything when the time is right.”

Yuri accepted his words. “Also, you have to teach me how to shoot and how to fight. Stop keeping me away from it. I want to work with you and everyone else. I have to…it’s like the family business, I just want to be part of it.”

Otabek sighed. “I’m sorry Yuri, I can’t agree to that. Everything else I’m 100% on board with, but I can’t teach you, and we’ve talked about this before. I just can’t do it.”

It was worth a shot. This was Yuri’s way of avoiding telling him about what he and Viktor have been doing. He just needed Otabek to agree to teach him himself, and everything would be okay. But Yuri didn’t dare argue with him. Beka was right, they had had many conversations about this, and Otabek was never going to change his mind, but Yuri wasn’t going to stop training.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains rape and other topics that may be triggering

Chapter 6

**Yuri**

 

            “I want to go back to therapy,” Yuri announced out of nowhere.

            Lilia and Yakov were in the kitchen preparing dinner for the three of them and Yuri was sitting at the kitchen table working on homework.  Lilia stopped what she was doing and stared at her foster son. 

            Yakov cleared his throat to fill the awkward silence between them. 

            “Are you sure?” Lilia finally said.  “After all that complaining about making you go before?”

            “Has something happened that made you want to go back?” Yakov asked.

            Yuri put his pencil to his lips while he thought of an appropriate answer to give to his parents.  “Not really.  I just think I should go again…Otabek told me that they found one of my old pimps and it’s just been on my mind a lot recently.”

            He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t telling the whole truth either.  He had been thinking of his time with _that_ man…all the manipulation, the abuse, and the disgusting intimacy between them.  But the real reason he wanted to go back to therapy was because he had absolutely no idea how to tell his parents that he and Otabek were now together.  He needed some advice from an outside party.  And he needed to be reminded of the tools to use to deal with how his parents may or may not react to the news.

            “Alright, I’ll make an appointment for you,” Lilia replied, “but you know you can talk to us about those things too right?  And to Otabek and Mila.”

            “I know.  It’s just hard sometimes.”  He returned to his homework like it was nothing. 

            Lilia and Yakov looked at each other, concern and confusion evident between their gaze.  Eventually Yakov shrugged and returned to cutting vegetables. 

++++++++++++++++

            “How are you Yuri?  It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, what’s been going on?”

            Yuri sat on the couch across from his therapist.  He didn’t particularly enjoy being here because he knew what she was capable of…she could get anything out of him and it made him feel way more vulnerable than he ever felt having sex with strangers.  She was good at her job.

            “I need your advice about something.”

            “Really?” her ears perked up.  “It’s been a long time, I think we should talk about what’s been going on in your life.”

            He ignored her request to get into his head.  He knew it was going to happen but he was here for a reason.  “Otabek and I are together now and I don’t know how to tell Yakov and Lilia because I don’t know how they’ll react but Otabek told me I have to tell them.”

            She crossed her legs and hummed to herself.  “I’m happy for you Yuri.  You’ve been in love with Otabek a long time.  But I don’t think you’re afraid to tell your parents about your established relationship.  From what I know about you and your family, everybody already knows how much you love Otabek and how much Otabek loves you.  Nobody would be surprised or upset by you being with him.”

            Yuri sighed.  He should have known.  He braced himself for what she was about to say next.

            “I saw on the news the other day that you’re your brothers and sisters took down another ring, but they didn’t get the pimp.  How are you feeling about that?”

            “I used to live there…in that church.”

            “I had a feeling.”  She didn’t say anything else.  She knew Yuri too well.  He would speak next.

            He avoided eye contact with her as he continued, “He was the second person I was sold to—the one that kept me for himself.”

            In previous sessions she could only get Yuri to mention the existence of the second man that bought him.  She had suspicions about what Yuri went through while living there, but she could never get any of the gritty details out of him.

            “How did you feel when you found out about the infiltration?”

            “Otabek told me they had found them a few weeks before they actually went to infiltrate the church.  He wouldn’t tell me any details though.  He’s afraid that if he tells me anything I’ll go running back to that life…he doesn’t understand that that will never ever happen.  Especially with _him._ ”

            “What is it about _him_ that scares you so much?”  The fear in Yuri’s eyes was obvious, even while he was staring into his lap.  “How old were you when you lived with _him_?”

            He thought for a moment.  _Was I ten yet?  Or maybe I was only eight?_ “I don’t remember exactly how old I was.  I don’t think I was ten yet, but I don’t remember for sure.”

            He could hear his heartbeat and he began to shake nervously.  Yuri cleared his throat to choke back tears.  He took a deep breath and told her everything, “He scares me because of how he treated me.  One minute he’d treat me like a prince; brushing my hair, giving me a bath, feeding me, talking to me about my interests…not that I really had any then but still, it was nice.  And then the next minute he’d be throwing me to the floor or on the bed and beating me or having sex with me or forcing me to do things to him...”

            “Yuri, remember what I taught you about how naming your fears can give you the strength to overcome them?”

            Yuri wiped away his tears, then finally looked up to meet her gaze.  He nodded.

            “So what’s scaring you about _him_ now?  You know you’re safe with Yakov and Lilia and you know that Otabek and Mila have been working their asses off trying to find this guy to assure you that the things he did to you will never happen again.  So what is it?”

            “I’m afraid that he’ll see me while I’m alone downtown or something and that he’ll grab me and take me back.  I’m scared that he’s still walking around doing what he did to me to other kids.  He sold me because I was getting bigger and stronger and could fight him off but I know he didn’t want to do that.  I know he wanted to keep me forever.  I just got that feeling.  I’m scared that if something triggers me that I’ll go running back to that life.”

            “There it is,” his therapist said.  “You already know your triggers, Yuri.  And have any of them ever made you want to go back to sex trafficking?”

            “No.  But what if Otabek and I get in a really bad fight and I want to leave, or what if he and I have sex and it _makes_ me want to do it for money?”

            “I’m not going to tell you to avoid having sex with your boyfriend if that’s something you really want to do.  It sounds to me that all your fears are ‘what ifs.’  You’ll never know for sure until you do it.  And if by some slim chance having sex with someone you loves makes you want to go back to selling it, then you talk to Otabek about it right away or you call me right away and we’ll get through it together.”

            “So you don’t think Otabek and I _shouldn’t_ have sex?”

            “If you know you’re ready for it then nothing should stop you.  Not even your fears about going back to prostitution.  You have tools to cope with your fears and you have people on your side that will help you through it if you feel like you need to leave.”

            Yuri nodded.

+++++++++++++++++

            “Are you ready to go home Yurochka?”  Lilia asked when Yuri came into the waiting room of his therapists office.  “How was it?”

            “Fine.”

            In the car Yuri sat in the passenger side beside Lilia, his feet up on the dash and his phone in his face while he responded to the text messages from Otabek and Mila.  He was unusually quiet.  It didn’t go unnoticed.

            “Are you okay Yuri?”

            “I’m okay.  We talked about a lot of heavy stuff.  That’s all.”

            Lilia nodded in understanding.  “Anything you want to talk to me about as well?”

            “Yeah actually.”  Yuri took his feet off the dash and set his phone on his lap.  “I have to tell you something important.”

            “What is it?”

            “Otabek and I…” he took a deep breath.  “We’re together now…he’s my boyfriend.  He told me I had to tell you because he was sure you wouldn’t let me sleep at his place anymore or you’d be upset or something.”

            She pursed her lips together. 

            That look was not what Yuri wanted as a response.  Usually that was her disappointed mom look.  He wanted her to say something.  Anything that would prove all his worries were stupid.

            “Say something please.”  He pulled his knees back up to his chest and rested his chin.

            Her driving slowed and she approached a lighted intersection.  “I’m not upset that you and Otabek are together if that’s what you’re worried about.  I’ve known for years how you felt about each other.  It was obvious.  But Otabek is exactly right.  You’re not sleeping over at his place anymore.  You’re also going to have a curfew when you’re out with him.  Your father and I will get back to you on that.”

            “Fair enough.”

            When they got back home, Yuri texted Otabek the news.  Then Yakov and Lilia sat him down and set the ground rules, “1. No staying out past eleven, even on weekends, 2. No sleepovers, 3. If Otabek stays here, you sleep in separate rooms, 4. If we ask you anything about your relationship, you have to be honest with us.”

            “Fine…” Yuri agreed unwillingly.  He texted Otabek the news and told him the rules that Lilia and Yakov had set for him. 

            Otabek replied with, “ _Sounds good to me.  Not looking forward to them asking us questions though.”_

That night Yuri tossed and turned for hours before falling asleep.  There was so much on his mind.  He was excited about his relationship with Otabek finally being where he wants it and he’s excited to start acting like it around other people.  But his heart is still heavy from his earlier therapy session.  He fell in and out of sleep all night, being awoken by nightmares of his previous life.

            _He was there.  He was in his suite on the top floor of the house connected to the church where the nuns used to live in the 80s.  Now the rooms were filled with underage girls and boys Father Anatoly pimped out.  Everything was exactly how he remembered it, the bed in the middle of the room, the curtains drawn, the dark chest at the foot of the bed that held toys and other things his pimp would use on him._

_The memory flashed before his eyes and he was lying on the bed.  He was cold.  Then there was a shadow hovering above him and a weight on his chest.  He couldn’t breathe.  It was him.  He was on top of him.  “Stop,” Yuri croaked.  But he couldn’t get the sound out._

_“Shh,” the man whispered in his ear._

_He then felt large hands trailing their way down his body to his legs, forcing them open.  Yuri tried to fight him off, but his pimp had the upper hand.  He flipped Yuri and forced his face into the pillows.  He then grabbed his arms and tied them to the headboard._

_“Stop.  You’re hurting me.”  Suddenly the voice coming out of him wasn’t his own…it was his voice but when he was nine._

_He pulled Yuri’s hips off the bed with one of his hands while his other held his head down.  Out of nowhere he slammed his hips into Yuri’s raised ones, causing the child to cry out._

Yuri shot up in bed.  He couldn’t breathe.  Tears streamed down his cheeks as he searched for his phone. 

Otabek picked up on the second ring, “Yuri, what is it?  It’s 3am.”

He couldn’t get any words out, only sobs.

“Yuri what is it?  What’s wrong?”  There was an urgency in Otabek’s voice.

“I-I n-need yo-ou,” Yuri was finally able to get out. 

“I’m on my way.  Call for Lilia and Yakov.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Otabek hung up the phone and Yuri sobbed louder and louder.  He was having a panic attack.  He knew he was.  He couldn’t breathe, his heart was racing, he was sweating, he couldn’t see clearly, and his heart was pounding in his ears.  He was eventually able to gather enough breath to call for Lilia and Yakov.  Within moments they were storming into his room.

Lilia sat on Yuri’s bed and took him into her arms. 

“What is it?  Honey, what’s wrong?”

He sobbed into her shoulder.  He still couldn’t breathe correctly.  “I-I-I’m ha-aving a p-panic atta-ack.”

Lilia rubbed his back gently, “just let it out sweetie.  Everything’s going to be okay.”  To her husband she mouthed ‘Otabek’ and Yakov nodded in understanding, pulling out his phone to call his foster son.

“He’s already coming,” Yuri sobbed. 

“What’s this about Yuri?” Yokov asked, putting a gentle hand on Yuri’s shoulder, “did you have a nightmare?”

He didn’t respond but it was obvious that his panic attack was brought on by a nightmare.  They usually were.  Faintly they could hear a car door slam outside, then the front door being opened.  Otabek was home.  He ran up the stairs to Yuri’s bedroom.

When Yuri saw him, his sobs worsened and he reached his arm out to him the same way a small child who wanted to be picked up would.  Otabek pushed Lilia and Yakov out of the way and took Yuri into his arms.  “I’ve got him,” he told his parents.

They nodded and left Yuri’s bedroom.

Otabek wrapped his arms protectively around Yuri’s small body and held him close, rocking him, just like he had years ago.  “What happened Yura?”

“I-It was a-a nightm-mare.  He was o-on top of me.  I-I c-couldn’t bre-eath.”

“Who?”

“ _Him!_  Father Anatoly.”

Otabek didn’t know what to say.  Suddenly he was overcome with guilt; it was his fault for telling Yuri that they didn’t get him in the raid; it was his fault for not getting him.  He and Mila were so close.  They were in his office.  They looked the man in the eyes.  They spoke to him.  But he outsmarted them. 

“We’re going to get him,” Otabek finally said.  “And I’m going to kill him myself.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Otabek**

The next day, Otabek returned to his loft apartment late.  He hung his leather jacket on the hook and turned to find Mila making coffee at the kitchen counter.  “Morning,” he greeted her tiredly.

            “Where have you been?  You look like shit.  And it’s past noon…”

            “Thanks…” he replied while striding his way to the bar stool at the kitchen island.  “I was with Yuri all night.”

            “Doing what exactly?” Mila grinned devilishly.

            “He called me at 3am in the middle of a panic attack.”

            Mila’s eyes widened.  “Is he okay?”  She handed Otabek a cup of coffee.

            He graciously took the mug from her and said, “He was fine once he fell asleep.”

            “What set off the panic attack?” Mila asked, concern for her younger foster brother evident in her eyes.

            Otabek put the coffee mug to his lips and took a long sip before replying.  “He had a nightmare that he was back in the church.”

            “Fuck.  Beka, I knew we shouldn’t have told him about the raid.”

            “Yeah I’m starting to regret telling him as well.  But I think he has a right to know.”

            Mila nodded in agreement then set her empty mug in the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes.  The room was quiet aside from the sound of running water as Mila rinsed out the dishes and set them in the drying rack.  Otabek was lost in thought.

            “What are you thinking about Beks?”  Mila asked taking notice to how unusually quiet her roommate was being.

            “I’m worried we’re not going to get this guy.”

            Mila frowned to herself, still focused mostly on the dishes in the sink.  “If we don’t get him next time, we’ll just keep going after him until we do.  Anatoly is a sick fuck, and he’s not getting away with what he did to Yuri and what he’s doing to others.  I won’t let him, and neither will you or anybody else.”

            “I know.  You’re exactly right, Mila.  But this guy had such a hold on Yuri…if he was ever to go back into the life, I’m fairly certain he’d run right back to him.  No matter how much Anatoly scares him.

            Mila turned off the water and spun around to face Otabek who was now paging lazily through articles on the iPad in front of him.  “You can’t possibly think Yuri will ever go back to that life willingly.  Not only is that absurd, but nobody in our fucked up family would ever let that shit happen.  Yuri’s not going anywhere, so stop convincing yourself that you’re just going to wake up one day and he’ll be gone.”

            “I don’t think about that…”

            “The fuck you don’t!  Otabek, you love him.  I know you do.  And not just that stupid little brother love bullshit the rest of our family seems to have with each other.  You’re in love with Yuri.  And I know you think about that because I know for a fact Yuri thinks about it too.  He’s terrified that one day something is going to trigger him and he’s going to run right back into the arms of old men paying for sex.”

            “How do you know he thinks about that?”

            “Because he told me!  Are you telling me he hasn’t talked to _you_ about that?!”

            “No,” Otabek sighed.  “He does.  He did last night.”

            Mila turned her attention back to the dishes.  “How long did it take to calm him down this time?”

            “A while.  After the panic attack subsided, he cried for hours.”

            Mila set the last dish in the drying rack and turned to face Otabek again.  She jumped up on the counter and swung her legs lazily.  “Why couldn’t we have just killed him when we went to the church?  I know Viktor and Chris are all about going by the book, but he was right there.  The knife was in my hand.  It could have been over in ten seconds.”

            “I know.  But that’s not how we do things.  It’s infuriating sometimes, but you and I both know that nothing good would have come from it if we had just ended it there.  We needed to know how many people he was holding captive.  Viktor and Chris needed that time to investigate.”

            “And we didn’t have the legal papers to kill him.  We still don’t.”

            Otabek got off the stool and went to the sink to rinse out his own mug.  “What’s taking so long with that anyways?”

            “I don’t fucking know,” Mila threw her arms up in irritation.  “Georgi said something about not enough solid evidence and Sheriff Minako’s out on leave for a personal matter.”

            Otabek hummed a response then changed the subject.  “Lilia and Yakov know about Yuri and me now.  Yuri told them yesterday morning.”

            “That’s great!  So I’m assuming there will be a lot of socks on doorknobs and nights where you won’t be coming home.”

            Otabek grinned.  “No that’s not happening.  Lilia set a bunch of rules.”

            “Of course she did.  God she’s no fun.  We’re all adults here.”

            “Yuri’s not an adult.”

            “Oh for fucks sake Otabek.  Yuri’s more of an adult than any of us.  He’s been through enough for ten lifetimes.  Stop treating him like a baby.  He’s your boyfriend, not a stray cat.”  Mila jumped off the countertop and set her phone on the island.  The screen lit up to reveal a multitude of texts from Sara.  “Shit, I forgot Sara and I were supposed to do something today.  I gotta go.  But seriously, stop treating Yuri like he’s broken.  He’s not.  And he’s not a kid either.  So lighten up and just fuck him.”  She ran out of the apartment, leaving Otabek alone.

 

**Otabek**

**Flashback**

 “Thank you so much for coming, please, have a seat.” Father Anatoly said as he lead Otabek and Mila into his office.

“Thank you Father,” Mila smiled. She adjusted her skirt as she took a seat on the plush chair that faced the priests’ desk.

Otabek took Mila’s hand to play the part.  Father Anatoly noticed the loving gesture and smiled. “I understand you’re looking for a church to join?”

“Yes!  My fiancée and I recently moved here and we were very active members in our previous parish. We’re hoping to find a church to join that is much like, if not better than our previous church.”

“Yes of course,” the priest replied.  “Our parish hosts and takes part in many community events.  We also offer religion classes to children and are always looking for parent volunteers to teach.  One of the most rewarding things our church does is provide shelter for homeless youth. Since the nuns no longer reside in the adjoining house, we allow for them to stay there.  They have beds, fresh meals, a shower, and a roof over their heads.”

Otabek kept his mouth shut as the priest continued to tell them about the parish. He knew the house he was referring to was where Yuri was once kept as a lover to the man sitting in from on him.  Thank god Mila’s hand held firmly onto his, because if she wasn’t tethering him down, he would have already strangled this man to death. 

“I’m curious,” Mila wondered aloud.  “Vasyli and I still haven’t selected a date for the wedding. Can you tell us more about how that would go about for members of the parish?”

“Of course dear!”

Otabek began to drown out the winds being exchanged between Mila and Father Anatoly.  He couldn’t get killing him out of his mind. This wasn’t the time and place.  Right now their job was to distract the priest so Viktor and Chris could gather information and evidence about where the girls and boys sold into sex slavery were being held, and the discover the most efficient way of getting them out of the church.  Father Anatoly did not work alone, and that was where Yakov and Georgi came in.  Their job was to tour the church; to listen in on any conversations the nuns and other parish workers may be having about the “homeless youth” staying in the old house.

“Honey,” Mila said jerking Otabek from his thoughts, “is there anything you’d like to know?”

Otabek pretended to think for a moment then answered, “Evgenia and I are very interested in seeing the chapel, if you don’t mind.  It’s such a beautiful church, I’d love to see it all.”

“Yes, of course.”  Father Anatoly got up from his desk and wrapped on the door that adjoined his office with another.  The head nun opened the door and introduced herself.  “Sister Yulia will show you around.”

Mila and Otabek stood, thanked the priest, and then followed Sister Yulia through the church and to the chapel.  Inside the chapel, it was quiet.  There were a few people sitting the pews saying their prayers, or lighting a candle for a loved one.  Off to the side was a young girl, no older than fifteen, sweeping the floor.  In the front of the chapel, up on the pulpit was a young boy, at least thirteen years old, dusting, and organizing the bibles and other readings to be used for the next mass. 

“The chapel really is beautiful, isn’t it dear?” Mila smiled.

Otabek nodded in agreement, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the young boy on the pulpit.  He reminded him of who Yuri was so long ago; frail, so skinny, fear in his eyes, it made him sick. 

“Ah, I see you’ve taken a notice to young Vladimir,” Sister Yulia began.  “He’s one of the homeless youth the church houses.  Some of them like to work inside the church to pay their way.  It’s a pride thing.”

Otabek nodded.  “I see.  Evgenia and I know someone who used to do the same thing.”

Mila immediately grabbed his hand to stop him from talking.  She giggled, “Ah yes.  Our friend loved working in the church.  He loved it so much he’s on his way towards becoming a priest.”

“How lovely!  If the two of you will just follow me this way, I can show you where we teach Sunday school.”

Mila glared at Otabek.

            “Sorry,” he mumbled.  He pulled his hand away from hers and politely excused himself from the tour.

            He found himself back in the entryway to the church while Mila continued to be lead through the building by the nun.  Outside the church, Viktor and Chris were waiting for him.  They exchanged handshakes to make it look like they had just met each other, in case there were cameras watching them.

            Otabek pulled out a cigarette, and put it to his lips. “Did you find anything?” he asked putting the lighter to the end of the cigarette.

            “Nothing special,” Chris said.  “Just a regular front door and back door to the nun house.”

            “No secret passageways?”

            “This isn’t a James Bond movie Beka,” Viktor assured.  “We didn’t even find the room Yuri was kept in.  I’m sure there’s a secret way to get in there, but we couldn’t even find the stairs to get to the top floor.”

            Otabek grumbled to himself in irritation.  “Well it has to be in that building.”

            The door to the church opened and Mila stepped carefully down the steep stairs, “there you are honey, I was looking all over for you.”  She dropped her character as soon as the doors closed behind her and asked, “Find anything?”

            They filled her in quickly, then headed in opposite directions only to meet up around the block where Yakov and Georgi were waiting with the cars.  Yakov handed Mila her regular leather jacket and boots in exchange for the church clothes she was currently wearing and Georgi handed Otabek his phone.

            “Get in the car,” Mila ordered.  “I think there’s something else we need to check out inside that church.”  Once the car doors were closed and they were on their way back to the Feltsman home Mila began again.  “Otabek, once you ditched me, Sister Yulia showed me the basement where they teach Sunday school and at the end of the hallway is the door that leads to the convent.  It was padlocked.”

            “That doesn’t make any sense,” Georgi thought aloud.

            “That’s what I was thinking,” Mila agreed.  She turned to Otabek, “Beka, are we sure that Yuri was kept on the top floor? He was ten at the time, he might not remember.”

            “He might not remember, or it’s been seven years since then and they could have remodeled or changed some stuff since then,” said Viktor.

            Yakov then spoke, “Yes, both are very real possibilities, but we can’t ask Yuri about this.  Otabek, you can tell him we found the church or that we’re planning to infiltrate at some point, but you can’t tell him anything else.”

            “Of course not.  He couldn’t handle it.”

            “I disagree, but whatever.  You’re the leader,” Mila admitted.

 

**Yuri**

Yuri was sweating.  That was a complete understatement.  Never in his life had he ever been this exhausted.  Viktor could see how tired his little protégé was becoming, but he continued to push him to his limits.   He kept coming after him, kept dodging his attacks, kept Yuri on his toes.  He wanted him to be ready for anything after all.

            Viktor ducked as he moved in to attack Yuri, grabbed him around the waist, and slammed him into the mat below them.  Yuri gasped as the air was knocked out of him. 

            “Jesus fuck, you old man,” Yuri said between staggered breaths.  “When I said not to go easy on me I didn’t mean actually try and kill me.”

            “Oh Yurio, you still have so much to learn.”

            He sat up slowly, wiping the sweat off his brow.  “Fuck you.  You’ve only been teaching me close combat stuff for a few weeks.”

            “You’re much better with a gun, which surprises me considering how much of your life has been spent wrestling around with old men.”

            “Fuck off.”

            Viktor reached out his hand to which Yuri gladly took and hoisted himself back to his feet.  He took a deep breath and took a fighting stance once again.  Viktor nodded, understanding that Yuri was ready to go again.  They didn’t have any protective gear on, yet Viktor still threw punches and landed kicks against Yuri’s body, and Yuri did the same to Viktor.

            Yuri was tough.  Viktor knew that.  Everyone knew that.  But he was still going to leave today’s sparring match with some pretty gnarly bruises.  One’s Yuri would later have to make up some excuse about how he got that black and blue cheek in order for Otabek to continue to remain in the dark.

            Yuri managed to land a few kicks, only to be grabbed by the ankle and forced to the ground once again.  Viktor held him down, his face buried in the mat.  Yuri was immobilized but he still fought to get back up.

            “What’s got you so riled up today, small fry?” Viktor asked letting Yuri free from his grasp.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            Viktor let Yuri up.  Then he placed his hand on his hips.  Dad voice on, he said, “I heard you had a panic attack the other night.  Are you okay?”

            “Fine.”

            Viktor definitely didn’t believe him.  “Did something trigger you?”

            Yuri relaxed, then sighed.  “Not exactly…But it doesn’t matter, I’m over it.”

            “Mhmm.  Sure you are.”

            “Viktor seriously.  Can you please just drop it?  If I wasn’t okay I’d tell you.”

            “Otabek handled it I presume?”

            “Yeah, he came over.”

            “Old habits die hard.”  Viktor stepped off the matt to retrieve his phone and Yuri’s water bottle.  He handed it to him, then sent a quick text to his fiancée about what time he’d be home.

            “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

            “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”  He changed the subject, “You know, if you’re going to be an assassin you’re going to have to take those piercings out of your face.”

            “If Otabek can have tattoos I can have a few piercings,” Yuri argued.

            Viktor laughed.  “You’re supposed to be inconspicuous Yurio.  Otabek can easily hide his tattoos, and you can take the metal out of your face, but if there’s an emergency where we have to leave quickly, you’re not going to waste time taking out each one of those studs.”

            Yuri pulled himself up off the matt and went over to where his gym bag was slumped against the wall.  “It doesn’t really matter anyways…as long as Otabek won’t let me train, I don’t get to do what you guys do.”

            Viktor came up behind Yuri and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Otabek will come around to the idea eventually.  Just give him some time.”           


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains explicit descriptions of a terrorist attack

**Otabek**

Yuri huffed as he threw open the door to Otabek and Mila’s loft.  After slamming the door behind him and angrily tugging off his high tops, he stomped over to the couch where Otabek was screwing around on his lap top.  

Otabek didn’t even look up from the screen as his boyfriend was throwing a mild tantrum.  Yuri huffed again as he threw his backpack across the room and screamed as he collapsed onto the couch.

            “Something the matter?” Otabek asked, still not looking up from the screen.

            “I hate school.”

            Otabek laughed.  “Is that what this is all about?”

             “Yes. And no.  But mostly yes.”

            Finally, Otabek closed his laptop and looked at his boyfriend.  “Oh my god, what the fuck happened to your face?”

            Yuri glared at Otabek.  “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

            Otabek grabbed Yuri’s chin and inspected the large bruise splayed across his cheekbone.  “Yuri, what happened during class today?”

            “This is from yesterday.”  Then, making up an excuse to avoid telling Otabek about his secret assassin training with Viktor, he said, “I stupidly ripped my sweatshirt off my door but the hook came with it and got me in the face.”

            Otabek frowned but released his hold on Yuri’s face anyways.  “Did you ice it?”

            “Yeah.  It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

            “Good.”  He kissed Yuri’s bruised cheek.  “But why do you hate school?”

            Slowly getting up off the couch, Yuri went to retrieve his backpack from the other side of the room.  Sitting back down, he pulled out his textbooks and set them on his lap.  “Mrs. Nikolin’s a bitch.  I literally have no idea what she’s talking about ever.  I hate having a private tutor, but I especially hate having to go to those stupid ‘homeschooled kids’ meetings every Friday.”

            “Would you rather go to regular school?”

            “Fuck no!  I’d rather not go to school at all.  It’s all pointless. I hate everyone and I’m never going to be able to catch up,” Yuri sighed.

            “I can help you with your homework, babe.”  Otabek took Yuri’s mathematics textbook off his lap and opened it on the coffee table in front of them. Yuri caught Otabek up on what he was learning and together they were able to figure out the homework. 

            “I think I get it now,” Yuri smiled.  “How’d you get so god at math?”

            “I’m not that good.  This is just 6th grade math.”

            “Shut up.  Not my fault I spent middle school getting fucked in root cellar.”

            “I know.  It was hard for me to catch up too after my parents died.  I get it.”

            Yuri smiled sadly.  “You never talk about your parents.”

            “No, I guess not.”

            “Will you tell me about them?” Yuri asked.

            Otabek looked Yuri in the eyes and brushed his long bangs out of face.  “What do you want to know?”

            “Tell me anything you want.  I just want to know about your life before you moved to St. Petersburg.  I don’t even know what your parents’ names are.”

            “Galdana and Anarbek.”

            “What were they like?” Yuri asked taking Otabek’s hand under the coffee table.

            Otabek laughed.  “Average I guess.  Kind of strict, but not nearly as strict as Lilia.  They were religious and probably wouldn’t have been totally okay with a son that dates girls and boys but eventually they would have gotten over it because their hearts were so huge.”

            Otabek began to choke up a little.  He blinked away the tears in his eyes.  Yuri noticed the glossiness of his eyes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.  “I don’t even remember my parents.  My therapist thinks I blocked them out.  But I remember their faces, and I remember the drugs, and I know that they drugged me but I don’t remember it.”

            “I remember everything.  Sometimes I wish I could block it out, but I think that if I did, I would want to remember.”

            “What happened to them?” Yuri asked.

            _Otabek was ten years old when his family moved from Almaty, Kazakhstan to St. Petersburg, Russia.  His father, a respected businessman and his mother, an up-and-coming modest clothing fashion designer moved their entire family for new job opportunities.  Otabek’s little sisters, Alayna and Amina protested the move, but Otabek couldn’t wait to move to a new place._

_He and his family had been to Russia before.  They used to visit old college friends of their parents every summer.  Because of these visits, they had learned to speak fluent Russian and learned the culture.  Moving to St. Petersburg was a total breeze._

_Very shortly after settling into their new home, the whole family took a day trip to the Palace Square.  That’s where it happened._

_They had been to Dvortsovaya Ploshchad many times before, but time the trip was special.  Galdana and Anarbek were expecting a fourth child, and they wanted to tell their entire family while they were visiting their children’s favorite place in Russia._

_It was the best day of Otabek’s life until it became the worst.  His parents bought them street food; food they normally weren’t allowed to have, they took family pictures, they played tag with tourist children and practiced their English with a young American couple._

_By the end of the day, Alayna and Amina had grown tired and begged to go home.  It was then that the first disturbance happened.  It started with a small fight breaking out.  Otabek couldn’t tell what language they were screaming at each other.  Looking back on the incident, Otabek remembers the fight being between five men in their late 20s and one girl in her late teens or early 20s._

_His parents realized the intensity of the situation and shuffled their children away from the commotion.  Once they were far enough away from the fight, they crouched down to look their children in the eyes._

_“Papa and I have something to tell you,” Galdana had said._

_Otabek remembers his father placing a loving hand on his wife’s shoulder and smiling bigger than Otabek had ever seen his father smile before._

_“What is it?” Alayna had asked._

_“Can’t it wait until we get home?” Amina whined.  “I’m so tired my legs are gonna fall off!”_

_“It will only take a minute Sweetheart,” Galdana assured._

_Otabek’s father was the one to break the news, “Mama is having baby!  In a few months, you’re going to have a baby brother or sister!”_

_Alayna and Amina stared at their parents with wide, sparkling eyes.  “Do you mean it!?” the twins cheered in unison._

_Their parents nodded._

_There was a large bang in the distance that shook them from their excitement.  Immediately Galdana and Anarbek grabbed onto their children while they inspected what was happening in the distance.  But before they could react to the smoke in the distance another bomb went off.  Then another, and another, and another._

_Finally, the last bomb went off and Otabek saw red._

_When he finally awoke, he couldn’t sit up.  Every time he tried, an insane dizzy spell would send him right back to the ground.  He tried to move his head to get his bearings.  What he saw was people running, he saw people screaming but he couldn’t hear it, he saw smoke so thick that the sky had turned black.  He had trouble breathing.  He finally managed to get to his knees.  In front of him were his parents.  They were on the ground.  His mother was facedown, blood pouring from under her face.  His father was at least ten feet from her, he was on his side and couldn’t see any damage but somehow Otabek knew that his father was gone._

_Someone trying to run away from the carnage had rammed right into Otabek and sent him back to the ground.  He groaned.  The fall had made him register a pain in his shoulder that he didn’t feel before.  He touched his left shoulder and felt something warm.  His shirt was bloodied.  He peeled back the fabric of his torn shirt to reveal a large gash with something black and sharp sticking out of it._ Shrapnel. _Otabek’s grandfather had told him military stories about his comrades getting shrapnel injuries.  The stories never ended well._

Alayna and Amina.  Where are they? _Otabek forced himself to stand, but he was back on the ground in seconds, tripping over his own two feet.  When he hit the ground again he came face to face to Alayna.  He reached for her.  “Alayna,” he called out to her, “wake up.  We have to get out of here.  Mom and dad are--”_

_Her arm was gone._

_Otabek screamed.  He reached out to her again.  He managed to touch her.  She was covered in blood._ This can’t be all her blood!

            _He looked to Alayna’s left.  It was Amina.  But it couldn’t have been Amina.  Her face was covered in blood and shrapnel.  Her dress was torn.  He looked to his right.  About ten feet from where he and his sisters were laying was the bottom half of Amina’s dress, along with her legs._

_Otabek cried.  His hearing was beginning to come back to him and the pounding in his head was slowly subsiding.  He wobbled to his feet.  He couldn’t move.  He was frozen as he stared at his sisters’ lifeless bodies.  He screamed again._

_Behind him people were still running for their lives and screaming for help.  Eventually he was grabbed by someone running past him.  He screamed at the man that had grabbed him away from his family and fought to be let down.  But the man wouldn’t let him go._

_He didn’t know how long it took them to reach the streets, but there was significantly less smoke across the street.  People all around him were crying.  The sirens wailed as the police barricaded the area and held people back from running into the disaster.  There were firetrucks everywhere and firemen running into the mess to look for survivors and to put out the fires.  An ambulance rolled to a stop beside him and the man that held him tightly.  Paramedics flooded out and Otabek was handed off to a young man._

_Otabek wasn’t quite sure what was happening.  He had stopped crying, but all he could do was stare at the smoke filled square where his family still lay._

_He doesn’t remember his ride to the hospital.  Only a young paramedic named Celestino that removed a piece of shrapnel from his arm and bandaged the wound._

_When the flames and smoke had been taken care of, and rescue teams had been dispatched to save anyone they could, Otabek learned that his sisters had died the moment the blast hit them.  His father and mother were both brought to the hospital but his father had died on the way there because of a large piece of shrapnel that had ripped apart his stomach.  His mother fought for her life in the hospital for two days before her brain shut down from the trauma.  At least he got to say goodbye to her.  The baby in her belly died too._

“After that I bounced around the foster care system for a while until I eventually landed with Yakov and Lilia.  They trained me to fight and to kill and got me help…and then you know the rest.”

            Otabek was shaking.  Yuri didn’t say anything as he absorbed what Otabek had just told him.  He knew Otabek’s parents had died in the bombing of the square, but he had no idea Otabek had sisters or that he had seen literally everything.

            “I don’t…I can’t even imagine…it was suicide bombers wasn’t it?  The six people that were fighting, right?”

            “Yeah…”  Otabek wiped his eyes and sniffled.  “They had set up bombs around the square too.  The fighting was just a distraction so they could set off the first few, then run through the crowd and blow themselves up.”

            Yuri rested his head on Otabek’s shoulder and squeezed his hand as tight as he could.  “Is that where the scar on your left shoulder is from?  The shrapnel?”

            “Yeah.  Still hurts sometimes.  Especially if I’m shooting a gun.  The kickback I guess.”

            “My hip still hurts sometimes too.”

            “Your hip?”

            “Anatoly broke it once when I refused to go down on him.”

            Otabek stared at Yuri with wide eyes.  “What?!”

            “Well I don’t know if it was really broken, but it was hurt pretty bad.  I couldn’t walk for a few weeks and when he fucked me it hurt so bad I would scream.  Even passed out once.”

            In that moment Otabek forgot all about his tragic past.  He grabbed Yuri by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes, “he _broke_ your hip?!”

            “Well I don’t know for sure.  But he hurt it pretty damn bad.  I never went to the doctor or anything.”

            Otabek put his face in his hands and groaned.  “I’m going to kill him.”  He stood up, knocking Yuri’s textbooks on the floor.  “I’m going to torture that fuck until he begs for death.”  He paced the room.  “I’m going to break his hips.”  He kicked over bar stool in the kitchen behind the living room area.

            Yuri watched him from the couch.  He flinched when the bar stool hit the ground.  “Beka stop it,” he whispered mostly to himself, scared that if he had said it any louder he would set him off.

            Otabek continued to mumble about how he was going to torture the man that raped and beat Yuri for two years.  He knocked over furniture and threw kitchen ware in a complete rage.

            Yuri couldn’t move.  “Beka stop!” He finally managed to yell.  But it didn’t help.  Eventually Yuri mustered up the courage to run to Otabek.  He grabbed his arm and pleaded with his boyfriend to calm down.

            The front door swung open and Mila entered the apartment with an armful of groceries.  “Hey Beka I’m….back.”

            Otabek shook Yuri off him and knocked him to the ground.  Yuri’s fall wasn’t bad but it still shook him up.  He froze.

            “Woah woah woah!”  Mila yelled at Otabek.  She ran to Yuri to make sure he was okay.

            “I’m okay,” he whispered to her.

            Mila shot up from the floor and got in Otabek’s face.  “What the fuck is going on Beka!?”

            He shoved past her but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face her.  She slapped him.

            “Fucking listen to me!”

            Otabek was stunned from being slapped in the face, but he quickly recovered when he realized that Yuri was on the floor crying.  He stared at him, unable to go to him.  He was the reason Yuri was on the floor.

            “Did you hit him!?” Mila screamed noticing the bruise on Yuri’s cheek.  “Oh my God, Beka!  What the fuck is going on!?”

            “H-he…he did-dn’t…he didn’t h-hit me,” Yuri managed to choke out, but Mila didn’t hear him.

            “Get the fuck out!  Oh my God Otabek.  What the fuck is happening!?  Get the fuck out and don’t you fucking dare touch Yuri _ever_ again!”

            Yuri jumped to his feet and put himself between Mila and Otabek.  “It wasn’t him! He didn’t hit me!  Stop screaming at him, he didn’t do it!”

            “Then why the fuck is there broken glass and furniture all over the apartment?!”  Mila yelled.  She took Yuri in her arms and asked calmly, “what happened Yuri?”  She didn’t take her eyes of Otabek.

            Yuri explained what had happened and what had set Otabek off.  Mila too began to shake in anger.  “Anatoly _actually_ did that to you?”

            Yuri nodded. 

            “Oh my God, what the fuck.”

            Yuri placed himself back in Otabek’s arms.  He was still shaking.  Both of them were.  Otabek removed himself from the embrace to clean up the mess he had made in the kitchen/living room.

            After putting away the groceries, Mila joined Yuri on the couch.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

            He nodded slowly.  “I’ve never seen him go off like that,” Yuri whispered to her. 

            “The last time he did was when he couldn’t kill Anatoly even though he was right in front of us.  We came home and he lost it.”

            “When he was right in front of you?” Yuri asked, fear in his eyes.

            Mila sighed.  “Yakov told us not to tell you but…”

            Otabek sat down on the couch beside Yuri.  “I told you we found him, but that wasn’t the whole truth.  We found him, and we went undercover in the church.  We talked to him.  We saw the other kids he was holding.  But we couldn’t kill him because there wasn’t any solid evidence and we didn’t have the kill order.”

            Mila continued for Otabek, “We were only there to gather information.  Chris and Viktor searched the entire church, but we couldn’t find where you were held or any kind of doorway that could possible lead to an upper room.”

            “Upper room?” Yuri asked.

            “Yeah,” said Mila, “the room he kept you in was on the top floor of the convent right?  Because you could see the church from the window.”

            “Well yeah, I could see the church, but I wasn’t in the convent.” Yuri said.  “I was in the bell tower.  At least, I think I was.  I could hear it every day and it was loud, like it was right above me.”

            Otabek and Mila exchange a look.

            “Oh my god!” Mila gasped.  “How could we have been so stupid!?  We didn’t even think to check the fucking bell tower!”

            “I’ve told you a million times that the bell meant service was over and we was coming up to me!”

            “That doesn’t mean you were IN THE BELL TOWER!”

            “Mila stop,” Otabek ordered.  “This isn’t the time.”

            “You’re right.  I’m sorry Yuri.”

            “It’s okay.”  He looked up to Otabek, “do you think I could stay here tonight?  I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

            Otabek wanted nothing more than to have Yuri spend the night with him, but the boundaries he set for himself don’t include Yuri staying the night until Lilia and Yakov are okay with it.  Mila noticed Otabek’s hesitation and said, “I’ll call mom and pop and explain what’s going on.  I’m sure they’ll say it’s okay to stay here.”

            Mila excused herself to her bedroom on the top floor of the loft to make the phone call.  She speed dialed her foster home’s landline and waited for someone to pick up.

            “Hello, this is Lilia.”

            “Hey mom.”

            “Mila?  What is it?”

            “Don’t freak out but we had a bit of an altercation here.  Yuri’s okay but he’s kinda shaken up.  He told Otabek something about what Anatoly did to him and Beka freaked the fuck out.  Everybody’s okay though.  We’ve all calmed down, but Yuri doesn’t want to leave.  Is it okay if he spends the night?”

            Lilia sighed, then whispered something to Yakov.  “Yeah, that’s fine.  I know it won’t happen, but at least try to get Yuri to sleep on the couch or in your room.  We trust Otabek to make an adult decision but Yuri is a bit insistent when it comes to Otabek as you probably know.”

            “Yeah.  He is.  Thanks mama.  Goodnight.”

            “Goodnight Mila.  Send my love to your brothers.  I love you.”

            “Love you too.”

            She hung up the phone and rejoined her brother’s in the living room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear from you guys in the comments!


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